Let me tell you something about Phyllis Diller that might surprise you. While so much of her stand-up persona was over-the-top and exaggerated—those wild wigs, the dramatic makeup, the outrageous outfits, even that cigarette holder she wielded with flair (even though she didn’t smoke)—there was one thing about her that was absolutely authentic: her laugh. That signature cackle? Yeah, that was 100% her.

Her Laugh Was Real, But So Was Her Heart

According to Richard Buskin, co-author of Phyllis' autobiography, that laugh wasn’t just a gimmick—it was a reflection of who she truly was. "Even when we talked about tough stuff, like tragedy, there was laughter," Buskin shared with Closer. "That’s just how Phyllis operated. She had this incredible ability to find joy in everything." It’s no wonder her humor resonated with so many people—it came from a place of genuine warmth and authenticity.

A Childhood Full of Imagination

Growing up as the only child of older parents in Lima, Ohio, Phyllis learned early on how to entertain herself. Her son Perry Diller recalls her as "a little buzz saw" with a vivid imagination. "She had to keep herself busy," Perry told Closer. "That creativity stayed with her throughout her life." And let me tell you, it sure did. Her imagination fueled not only her comedic genius but also her resilience in the face of adversity.

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A Life of Struggles—and Strength

After dropping out of college in 1939 to marry Sherwood Diller and start a family, Phyllis became a mother to five kids. But life wasn’t easy. Her husband struggled with mental health issues, including agoraphobia, and couldn’t hold down a job. As a result, the family often found themselves struggling financially. "They were walking the streets with their belongings in brown paper bags," Buskin revealed. But Phyllis wasn’t about to let hardship defeat her.

From Desperation to Determination

With mouths to feed and no other options, Phyllis took matters into her own hands. She landed jobs writing copy for a radio station and a department store, where her natural wit began to shine. When people responded positively to her humor, she realized she could turn her lifelong love of comedy into a career. "I’d been doing comedy all my life without realizing it," Phyllis once said. "All I needed to do was polish my act." And polish it, she did.

Phyllis Diller — Jim Smeal/BEI/Shutterstock

Breaking Barriers, One Joke at a Time

At 37 years old, Phyllis made her stand-up debut at the Purple Onion in San Francisco. But being one of the first female stand-ups wasn’t easy. "It was brutal," Buskin recalled. "People would shout, 'Go home to your husband and kids!' But nothing could stop her. She was determined to succeed." Her act centered around self-deprecating humor about her appearance and her fictional husband, "Fang," a lazy character inspired by her real-life struggles. "She talked about her life, and she connected with women everywhere," Buskin explained. "She was the ultimate woman next door."

A Helping Hand From a Comedy Legend

Phyllis’s career didn’t happen overnight—it was a slow build. But things changed when Bob Hope, one of her idols, saw her perform and took her under his wing. "He was the biggest mentor in her life," Perry said. "He booked her on his TV specials and took her on USO tours. He was the sweetest guy." With Bob’s support, Phyllis’s star began to rise.

A Life Well Lived

Once she could support herself and her children financially, Phyllis divorced Sherwood in 1965. Though her second marriage also ended in divorce, "Fang" remained a staple in her act. "Don’t confuse him with my real husbands," she joked. "They’re temporary." When Phyllis passed away at 95 in 2012, countless female comedians paid tribute to her. "She had such a good, full, happy life," Joan Rivers said. "She had a great time to the very end."

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