Let’s talk about resilience, honesty, and the power of vulnerability. Actress and beloved cooking show host Valerie Bertinelli recently opened up about a hurtful comment she received on Instagram. A troll told her she needed to lose weight, and it hit her hard. At 61 years old, Valerie isn’t new to the ups and downs of life or the challenges of maintaining her weight. In a heartfelt video shared with her fans, she explained just how deeply those words affected her. She also reminded everyone that such comments aren’t just unkind—they’re flat-out unhelpful.
When Trolls Strike: Valerie Shares Her Pain
Valerie, the warm and welcoming host of Valerie’s Home Cooking, revealed that she was scrolling through recipes online for an upcoming segment when she stumbled upon a comment that stopped her in her tracks. “I made the mistake of reading the comments,” she admitted. “Someone decided to point out that I need to lose weight.” Now, if you know Valerie, you know she doesn’t shy away from calling things as they are. With a touch of sarcasm, she responded, “Because see, I don’t have a scale, or I don’t have clothes that I’m trying to put on every day, and I don’t have mirrors, so I don’t see what’s become of me. So, I needed that help to let me know that I need to lose weight.”
Why Harsh Words Don’t Help
But Valerie didn’t stop there. She went on to explain why such comments are not just mean but also counterproductive. “You’re not being helpful,” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “When you see somebody who has put on some weight, my first thought is, ‘That person is obviously going through some things.’” Valerie’s words highlight the importance of empathy and understanding in our interactions with others. We never truly know what someone else is dealing with, and a harsh word can do more harm than good.
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A Year of Loss and Challenges
2020 was a tough year for everyone, but for Valerie, it was especially difficult. She not only navigated the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdowns, but she also lost her ex-husband and close friend, Eddie Van Halen, to cancer in October. Eddie, the father of her only child, Wolfgang Van Halen, was a significant part of her life. Even after their divorce in 2007, they remained close. “I miss him. And I’m allowed to miss him,” Valerie tearfully admitted on the Today Show in February 2021.
Valerie, the Food Network star, shared her struggles with tears in her eyes. “If I could lose the weight and keep it off, I would,” she confessed. After a long pause, she continued, “But since I haven’t been successful with that my whole entire life—at 61 I’m still dealing with it—you think I’m not tired of it?”
Calling for Compassion
Valerie’s message wasn’t just about her personal struggle; it was a call for compassion. “Where’s the compassion?” she asked. “You think a stupid little comment like ‘you need to lose weight’ … not f—king helpful,” she added before concluding her message. Valerie initially posted the video to her Instagram Stories on July 8 but decided to make a full post so all her fans could see it after the 24-hour window expired. “Aren’t we tired of body-shaming women yet?! smh,” she began in the caption.
She also shared her decision to embrace vulnerability. “I was going to delete my stories because it’s a little embarrassing and scary to be so vulnerable. But then I realized it was hitting a ‘good’ nerve with so many of you who were so sweet to DM and share your same vulnerability and struggles. We all could use a little more kindness and patience and grace, because we just never know what someone else is going through. So here it is. Not deleting. Owning it,” she added.
A Wave of Support
Valerie’s fans rallied around her, offering an outpouring of love and support. In a July 9 Instagram video over her morning coffee, she thanked them. “Thank you … there’s so much kindness out there. I certainly don’t feel so alone anymore,” she said with a smile. “It’s the shame part that’s hard to get rid of. It’s a stupid emotion that’s absolutely useless. But I just wanted to say thank you.”
