A Night of Darkness: Vivian Vance's Mental Breakdown
In a Chicago hotel room in 1945, actress Vivian Vance experienced one of the most harrowing moments of her life. "I flipped," she later recounted, describing the onset of a mental breakdown that left her shaking and crying uncontrollably. "Every normal function of my body—my heart, blood, pulse—roared in my ears. I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. I was afraid to leave my room and equally terrified to stay in it. The walls felt like they were closing in on me." This moment of despair marked a turning point in her life, one she would later confront with courage and resilience.
A Dream Deferred: Navigating Family Expectations
Growing up in Kansas, Vivian Vance was a girl with big dreams. From an early age, she yearned to perform, but her ambitions often clashed with her parents' strict beliefs. Respectable people, they insisted, did not become actors. Despite this opposition, Vivian remained determined. Even as she pursued her dreams, mental illness loomed over her, threatening to derail her progress. Her perseverance eventually led her to the world of theater and, later, the iconic role of Ethel Mertz on I Love Lucy. But this wasn't the end of her struggles. Behind the scenes, jealousy, a hostile work environment, and an abusive marriage tested her resolve to create a character that would become beloved by millions.
Clashing with Tradition: Vivian and Her Mother
Vivian's relationship with her mother, Mae, was fraught with tension. "To Mama, I was a 'bad girl,'" she wrote in her unpublished memoir. "I had a hang-up about showing my legs in public—Mama used to scream at me that showing my legs could drive men to sin. Whenever I heard four-letter words, I vomited." These early experiences shaped Vivian's worldview and contributed to her internal struggles as she navigated the complexities of show business.
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At 19, Vivian sought escape through a short-lived marriage, eventually landing at a playhouse in New Mexico. "She got her start in Albuquerque," says Deb Slaney, former curator of the Albuquerque Museum, speaking exclusively to Closer. "She lived here between 1928 and 1930 and returned to do productions in the 1940s." This period marked the beginning of her journey toward becoming a professional actress.
From Broadway to Hollywood: A Rocky Road
Vivian's career took her to New York, where she worked tirelessly as a chorus girl before earning starring roles alongside Danny Kaye and Eve Arden on Broadway. Even as she achieved success, she remained haunted by her mother's warnings and disapproval. "Once, a man exposed himself to me on the New York subway, and I retched until I was sick," she confessed. "I blamed myself, thinking: 'He wouldn’t have done that unless I looked like a whore.'" These moments of vulnerability highlight the personal battles she faced while pursuing her dreams.
Breaking Down Barriers: Therapy and Advocacy
Vivian's childhood was marked by witnessing several of her mother's mental collapses. "Someday, I'd have a nervous breakdown," her mother warned, a prediction that Vivian carried with her for years. "Before I went anywhere, I always wrote my name and address on a piece of paper and put it in my handbag," she explained, "so someone would know who I was if I went totally crazy." After her mental crisis, Vivian sought help through therapy, which proved transformative. "Analysis finally helped me," she said, becoming an early advocate for psychiatry and serving as a board member of the National Mental Health Association.
The Role of a Lifetime: Ethel Mertz
In 1950, Vivian was performing on stage at California's La Jolla Playhouse when Desi Arnaz, director Marc Daniels, and Jess Oppenheimer, producer of I Love Lucy, attended one of her performances. "They were looking to cast the part of Ethel Mertz," Vivian recalled. "I was hired." However, the decision wasn't without controversy. Series star Lucille Ball expected Ethel to be played by an older, frumpy actress. "Lucy fought to get her off the show," explains Frank Castelluccio, coauthor of The Other Side of Ethel Mertz. "She was from the old school that said you never have prettier people on the set."
Vivian also faced tension with William Frawley, who played her on-screen husband, Fred Mertz. After overhearing a comment about his age, William harbored resentment and sought to unsettle Vivian with pranks and loud noises. "She's one of the finest girls to come out of Kansas," he quipped, "but I often wish she'd go back there." Despite these challenges, Vivian remained a consummate professional, proving her worth to the show.
A Lasting Legacy: Friendship and Triumph
Lucille Ball eventually came to appreciate Vivian's dedication and talent. "We were both perfectionists," Lucille recalled. Vivian's willingness to adjust her appearance for the role earned her Lucille's respect. "Lucy considered Vivian to be the best script doctor in town," says Wanda Clark, Lucy's former secretary. "If something in the script wasn’t working, those two ladies would put their heads together and figure it out."
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While Vivian and William Frawley never became close friends, they developed a professional respect that translated into their on-screen chemistry. "Lucille always said that while they were at work, if William ever needed something, he would ask Vivian first," notes Michael Z. Stern, author of I Had a Ball: My Friendship With Lucille Ball. "They didn’t like each other, but they worked really well together, and it shows."
One final hurdle awaited Vivian: her third husband, actor Philip Ober, who became jealous and abusive as her career flourished. "He was terrible," Lucille said. "He used to beat her up. Loved to embarrass her. One day, Viv came to work with a shiner. That did it. I think I said to her, 'If you don’t divorce him, I will.'" Vivian ultimately left him in 1959, finding happiness with book editor John Dodds, whom she married in 1961. Their union lasted until her passing in 1979.
Vivian Vance's journey was one of resilience, determination, and ultimately, triumph. Though fame was never her goal—"
