Hey there, friends. Let me tell you a heartfelt story about Melissa Gilbert. She recently couldn’t help but gush over her newborn granddaughter, Romy Busfield. “Everyone, say hi to the newest addition to our family,” she joyfully shared. “It’s absolute heaven!” Melissa’s love for family is deep-rooted, and as she’s grown older, she’s become increasingly aware of how precious and fragile life can be.
The Journey Through Life’s Challenges
For Melissa, who’s now 58, family has always been everything. But life hasn’t always been easy. She lost her father when she was just 11, but the truth about his death was hidden from her for most of her life. It wasn’t until recently that Melissa came to terms with the fact that her father had taken his own life. “It’s a very difficult thing to carry,” Melissa admits, and I can only imagine how heavy that weight must feel.
Growing Up in a Family of Love
Melissa and her brother Jonathan, now 55, were adopted by Paul Gilbert, a comedian and dancer, and his wife, actress Barbara Crane. Even though Paul and Barbara split when Melissa was 6, she still has fond memories of her father. “My father was the most incredibly talented, vivacious, funny, loving, and fair person I ever knew,” Melissa fondly recalls.
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When Paul passed away suddenly in 1976, everyone was told that he had died from a stroke in his sleep. However, the truth was that he had committed suicide. Only a small circle of people knew the real story. “It was a different era,” a family friend explains. “Back then, suicide wasn’t something people talked about openly. Melissa’s mom, Barbara, was trying to protect her from the heartache.”
Uncovering the Truth
Melissa discovered the truth about her father’s death many years after publishing her 2009 memoir, Prairie Tales. “I think a family member told her,” a friend says. This revelation sent Melissa into an emotional spiral. “For about six months, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep,” Melissa recalls. “It was soul-crushing pain.”
She confronted her mother but also hired a detective to uncover more about Paul’s death. “Basically, what had happened was that he was under the care of the VA—he was a World War II veteran,” Melissa explains. “He was in excruciating pain, had been threatening suicide, and, so, he took his own life.”
Healing and Acceptance
Melissa admits that sadness, anger, grief, and even guilt consumed her for a long time. “I sometimes still wonder why I wasn’t enough for him to stick around for,” she says, her voice filled with emotion. “I think that’s something all children whose parents commit suicide feel.”
Today, Melissa has found peace with her father’s tragic death. “I will choose to honor his decision and his choice. I choose to ‘hear’ him and cherish him and keep his memory safe,” Melissa says. She’s become an outspoken advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention, using her voice to help others who might be struggling.
Forgiveness and Moving Forward
Melissa has also come to accept her mother’s decision to keep the truth hidden. “She felt betrayed and was resentful for a long time,” a friend explains. “But she eventually forgave her mother. She realizes her family wasn’t unique. Back then, suicide was often seen as weakness, shameful, and a stain on the family.”
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As Melissa, who recently released Back to the Prairie, spends time with her family, she can’t help but reflect on her father. “My life is, blessedly, in such a different place than his was,” Melissa admits. “I wish he could have known the unbridled joy that grandchildren bring. I wish he could have experienced the love of a true life partner. To feel cherished, safe, and, most of all, heard.”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
