Valerie Bertinelli recently shared her heart-wrenching reflections on her marriage to the legendary Eddie Van Halen after watching her son Wolfgang Van Halen’s episode of Behind the Music. In a candid Instagram clip, Valerie, now 64, revealed the complexities of her relationship with Eddie, which was far from the fairy-tale romance many imagined.

A Look Back: The Reality of Their Relationship

“I realized how much I had romanticized our relationship, turning it into some kind of fantasy or soulmate storybook,” Valerie said, her voice filled with emotion. “I fell in love with him when I was just 20 years old. But over time, the relationship spiraled into drugs, alcohol, and infidelity. It wasn’t a place where I felt loved, cherished, or cared for—not at all. It definitely wasn’t the soulmate connection people thought it was.”

In the emotional video, Valerie’s voice wavered as she opened up about the highs and lows of her life with Eddie. “Even after all these years, it’s still hard to talk about,” she admitted. “But I had to be honest with myself. After Eddie passed, I found myself slipping into the grieving widow role for a man I hadn’t lived with in over 20 years. What we created together was something else entirely—our beautiful son, Wolfgang. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and that’s the true legacy of our marriage.”

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Meeting Eddie: The Early Days

Their story began backstage at a concert in 1980. Within a year, the couple exchanged vows, tying the knot in what seemed like a whirlwind romance. But as with many rock-and-roll love stories, the road wasn’t always smooth. Early on, Eddie faced a paternity suit, which eventually got dismissed in court. Despite this hiccup, they seemed to bounce back, only to face new challenges down the line.

“Eddie’s partying lifestyle eventually rubbed off on me,” Valerie confessed. “It wasn’t until much later that I decided to walk away from drugs. In my 2008 memoir, Losing It, I wrote about how done I was with cocaine. It didn’t make me feel good—it made me angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed. There was so much going on: Eddie’s battles with Dave Lee Roth, his drinking, his cocaine use, and his obsessive work habits. It was all consuming.”

Valerie Bertinelli Says Eddie Van Halen Wasn’t Her ‘Soulmate’ — Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images

Separation, Divorce, and Moving On

Despite their challenges, Valerie and Eddie stayed married for over two decades before separating in 2001. Their divorce was finalized in 2007, marking the official end of their marriage. However, their bond as parents remained strong, and they managed to maintain a positive relationship for the sake of their son, Wolfgang.

“Even though we divorced, we always put Wolfgang first,” Valerie reflected. “Through all the ups and downs, we found a way to co-parent and support each other. That’s something I’ll always be grateful for.”

Final Days and Farewell

When Eddie passed away from cancer on October 6, 2020, at the age of 65, Valerie was by his side, cherishing their final moments together. In a touching interview with People in April, Valerie spoke fondly of their love story.

“He knew how deeply I loved him, and I knew how much he loved me,” she recalled, her voice soft with emotion. “The last words he ever said to me and Wolfgang were, ‘I love you.’ Eddie was someone who gave his heart freely. He wore it on his sleeve, and that’s one of the things I’ll always admire about him.”