There’s something about love that makes even the strongest of us vulnerable. And for Hoda Kotb, the journey of love, loss, and reflection is one she’s willing to share with the world. During a heartfelt moment on Today on Friday, July 19, the beloved broadcaster opened up about her relationship with her ex-fiancé, Joel Schiffman, and the lessons she’s taken from their time together. Even though they’re no longer a couple, Hoda hasn’t forgotten the milestones that shaped their connection.
When It Comes to Love, Who Goes First?
During a candid conversation with Today cohost Jenna Bush Hager, Hoda, now 59, was asked an intriguing question: “Have you ever said ‘I love you’ first?” Hoda chuckled and replied, “No. Neither of the times. Neither of the — whatever — three times.” It’s a moment that reveals so much about her approach to love. For Hoda, saying those three little words isn’t just about expressing feelings—it’s about timing, trust, and vulnerability.
As she delved deeper into her thoughts, Hoda shared some intimate details about her relationship with Joel, who she was with for nearly eight years before their breakup in January 2022. “Joel said ‘I love you’ first,” she admitted. “And you know what? I think that takes a lot of courage. It shows that you’re willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. It’s not easy, but it’s beautiful.”
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The Power of Vulnerability
Before diving into her relationship with Joel, it’s worth noting that Hoda wasn’t always a stranger to love. She was married to Burzis Kanga from 2005 to 2008, and with Joel, she built a life that included adopting two daughters, Haley and Hope. But even in the best of relationships, there are moments that test us. Hoda recounted one such moment with Joel, where he said, “Don’t let me blow out here in the wind by myself, now.”
She paused, remembering the weight of the moment. “I remember telling him, ‘No. I just want to feel this for a second before I respond,’” she recalled. “Sometimes, we’re so quick to reply that we forget to truly absorb the beauty of what’s being said. It’s a gift to receive love, and I wanted to sit with that feeling for just a moment.”
Jenna Bush Hager’s Reaction: Pure Adoration
Jenna, 42, couldn’t help but be moved by Hoda’s words. “Aw, it’s like a Hallmark movie,” she said, smiling warmly. The sentiment resonated with viewers, reminding everyone that love isn’t just about grand gestures—it’s about the quiet, meaningful moments that build a foundation of trust and understanding.
Despite their split, Hoda and Joel continue to co-parent their daughters, ensuring that their bond as parents remains strong. In June, Hoda honored Joel on Father’s Day with a heartfelt tribute on Instagram. “Happy father’s day to the best dad!” she wrote, sharing a sweet photo of Joel with Haley, 7, and Hope, 4.
The Little Things That Matter
On an episode of Today in March, Hoda shared another touching story about Joel. “I’ve only been with people who are super polite,” she revealed. “Like, when I get up from the table, Joel would always get up too, every single time, even at a casual dinner. It’s those small gestures that leave a lasting impression.”
Jenna chimed in, noting how Hoda’s upbringing likely shaped her expectations of kindness and respect in relationships. “Yes, it’s what you deserve,” Hoda agreed. “But I also think it sets an example for our kids. They see how two people should treat each other—not with demands, but with grace and consideration.”
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A Moment of Laughter Amidst Reflection
Not all memories are serious, and Hoda shared a funny story about a mix-up with Joel’s sneakers. “Joel and I had the exact same pairs of sneakers, except for different sizes,” she joked. “One day, I accidentally put on his sneaker, and it fit perfectly! He was like, ‘Where are my sneakers?’ And I said, ‘I don’t know,’ and he replied, ‘They were right here!’ It was hilarious. I couldn’t believe it fit!”
