Valerie Bertinelli's Journey To Self-Love And Acceptance

It was a Monday night in a bustling New York City hotel when Valerie Bertinelli decided to do something bold. Stripping down to her bikini underwear, she gazed into the mirror and felt a profound sense of acceptance. "Right now, every lump, bump, wrinkle, and saggy part of me feels accepted and appreciated," she shared with her millions of Instagram followers. This moment of self-love went viral, touching countless lives and sparking conversations about body positivity. Valerie, known for her role on One Day at a Time, continues to inspire fans with her candid reflections on life's challenges.

At 64, Valerie has navigated a challenging journey to truly love and accept herself. From her early years as a people-pleaser to her current role as an Emmy Award-winning Food Network star and contributor to The Drew Barrymore Show, she's battled insecurities and feelings of unworthiness. Just weeks before posting the underwear photo, Valerie shared a raw video of herself experiencing an anxiety attack. "I know it's just my brain overthinking and catastrophizing, but my body goes into overdrive, and I have no control over it," she explained. Her vulnerability has resonated deeply with fans, showing that even the brightest stars face inner struggles.

A Family Shaped by Tragedy

Valerie's early life was marked by profound tragedy. Born into a family of five children, her world was forever changed when her older brother, Mark, tragically drank poison from a soda bottle at the age of 17 months. "While my mother was pregnant with me, this unimaginable loss occurred," Valerie revealed in her 2022 memoir, Enough Already. She didn't learn about Mark's death until she was a teenager, but the shadow of this event loomed over her parents' marriage. Her mother, Nancy, turned to food as a coping mechanism, striving to be the perfect homemaker, while her father, Andy, withdrew emotionally, unable to process the loss. "Before I was even born, the message was sent to me that my role was to please others and fill the void left by tragedy," Valerie reflects.

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Valerie's relationship with her father was complex. A "people pleaser" himself, Andy was both loving and judgmental. He had high expectations for his children, especially Valerie, and often made harsh comments about her weight and appearance. "My father was stern and aggressive with my brothers but loving yet critical with me," she recalls. Despite his flaws, Valerie has come to understand him better over time. "He was a complicated man who struggled with his own demons," she says, adding that his behavior was shaped by his own upbringing and lack of role models.

Valerie's parents' strained relationship also shaped her views on love and marriage. "I can't even describe how my father treated my mother," she says, still grappling with the impact of their dynamics on her own life. A close friend notes, "Valerie doesn't want to blame her father for the men she's chosen, but his influence undoubtedly played a part." Her grandfather, Nazzareno Bertinelli, was an intimidating figure who had abandoned his first family before immigrating to America. "He was kind but also terrifying," Valerie recalls, explaining that his dual nature made him unpredictable. Andy, lacking a positive role model, struggled to be the father and husband he aspired to be. "I loved my father deeply," Valerie says, "and while I understand his flaws, I also feel guilt for judging him. He did the best he could with the knowledge he had."

Finding Love and Strength Within

Despite the challenges, Valerie has always been a symbol of resilience. At just 15, she became America's sweetheart as Barbara Cooper on One Day at a Time, but fame didn't shield her from inner turmoil. Over the past two years, following her split from her second husband, she's focused on self-love. "Until I love and accept myself—both the light and dark sides—I can't give someone else the love and emotional vulnerability they deserve," she says. "You must give it to yourself first." Her recent long-distance romance with writer Mike Goodnough ended after 10 months, but Valerie remains surrounded by love and support, especially from her son, Wolfgang Van Halen, 33. "Wolfie is her hero and a guiding force in her life," a friend shares. "He inspires her to live her best life. She's happiest spending time with him and his wife, and she can't wait to become a grandmother!"