How Two Legends Marked Their 40th Anniversary
Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue, two legendary figures in entertainment and media, decided to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in a way that was both meaningful and impactful. Instead of opting for an extravagant getaway or a lavish party, the couple chose to write a book together. In What Makes a Marriage Last: 40 Celebrated Couples Share With Us the Secrets to a Happy Life, they reached out to other famous long-term married couples to uncover their secrets to a thriving union. It’s a project that not only highlights their own journey but also celebrates the enduring power of love and commitment.
Unpacking the Importance of Trust in Marriage
As Phil Donahue shared with Closer, the topic of long-lasting marriages often gets overshadowed by stories of divorce. "Believe it or not, that’s a subject that doesn’t get a lot of attention," Phil remarked. "All you read about is how many people get divorced!" Through their research, Phil and Marlo discovered that trust is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. "It’s not just trusting that you won’t betray each other, which is very important, but also trust that what matters to you also matters to them," Marlo explained. "When you realize that this person always has your back, you build a deep, unshakable bond."
Overcoming Challenges in the Early Years
When Marlo and Phil tied the knot in 1980, they faced their fair share of challenges. Marlo, now 82, was a busy actress working in Los Angeles, while Phil, now 84, was juggling his responsibilities as a father to four sons and hosting The Phil Donahue Show in Chicago. Despite living in different cities, they remained committed to making their marriage work. "I had an aunt tell me, 'that’s not marriage' because we didn’t live in the same city all the time," Marlo recalled. "But the truth is, you define what your marriage is yourself. It’s about creating something that works for both of you."
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Learning to Grow Together
In the early years of their marriage, both Marlo and Phil faced personal challenges that tested their relationship. Phil struggled with feelings of jealousy when Marlo worked on a movie with Kris Kristofferson. "I got over it, and I really felt so much better for having lost my insecurity," Phil admitted. Meanwhile, Marlo, who had enjoyed her independence before marrying Phil at the age of 42, had to adjust to becoming part of a blended family. "I married someone who had four sons who lived with him. He belonged to a lot of people," she said. "But because I loved Phil and his kids are amazing, I dove into it headfirst. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth every moment."
Lessons From Other Iconic Couples
While researching their book, Marlo and Phil were delighted to discover the unique ways other famous couples maintained harmony in their relationships. Ron Howard and his wife Cheryl, for example, use a creative method to resolve disagreements: they each record a two-minute argument presenting their side for the other to listen to. Bob Woodward and Elsa make it a point to say "I love you" every night before bed, no matter what. Bryan Cranston and Robin have committed to attending couples therapy whenever either feels their marriage needs a boost. Each couple's story highlights the importance of communication, respect, and mutual effort in maintaining a healthy relationship.
The Key to Long-Lasting Love
For Marlo and Phil, the key takeaway from their conversations with other couples was the unwavering commitment to staying together. "When the going gets tough, you don’t look to get out. You find a way to stay in," Marlo emphasized. She echoed Kyra Sedgwick’s wise words: "When you get married, you can’t go in with a plan B. There’s no plan B!" It’s a philosophy that resonates deeply with anyone seeking to build a lasting, loving partnership.
For more inspiring stories like this, grab the latest issue of Closer Weekly on newsstands now!
