When preparing for her memoir, the legendary Elizabeth Taylor sat down with a ghostwriter to spill the beans about her extraordinary life. Journalist Richard Meryman conducted candid interviews with her that covered everything from her childhood, her illustrious career, her public scandals, near-death experiences, and her tumultuous marriages. Her memoir, Elizabeth Taylor, published in 1965, went on to become a bestseller. The secret tapes from these intimate interviews were then tucked away in the writer’s attic for decades, only to be rediscovered years later by his widow.
Fast forward to today, and these rediscovered recordings form the backbone of the new HBO documentary, Elizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes. The documentary allows the iconic Oscar-winning actress to narrate her own life story in her own voice. “It’s incredibly rare to have a legendary star open up so deeply about their personal life,” says Nanette Burstein, director of the documentary, which premieres on August 3. Speaking to Closer, Burstein adds, “There’s a wealth of intimate revelations that have never been heard before — 90 percent of the film is in her own words.”
Elizabeth Taylor, an actress from childhood, revealed that the sheltered world of Hollywood left her unprepared for real-world challenges. "I got my first real-life kiss just a week before my first film kiss — I must admit, the film kiss was better," Elizabeth shared. "I was thrust into the adult world, expected to act like a sophisticated woman, but deep down, I was a terrified little girl." Her journey was one of learning and growth, navigating the complexities of fame and personal struggles.
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She admitted that her own "naivety" and romantic idealism led her to marry Conrad "Nicky" Hilton at the tender age of 18. "I was a virgin, not just physically but mentally," Elizabeth confessed, adding that she was "terrified" on her wedding night. The marriage was short-lived, lasting only eight months due to Nicky's gambling, drinking, and abusive tendencies. "Nick was always in a temper or stoned or something," Elizabeth recalled, describing the marriage as a blur. "I don’t want to talk about Nick Hilton, about him kicking me in the stomach and causing me to have a miscarriage," she said.
Elizabeth Taylor Finds Her Voice
Elizabeth confessed to feeling insecure and unprepared as an actress. "I felt very much like the inadequate teenage Hollywood puppet who had just worn pretty clothes and hadn’t really acted except with horses and dogs," she said, reflecting on her role in 1951’s A Place in the Sun, her first adult movie opposite Montgomery Clift. Despite the director, George Stevens, supporting her, when they reunited on the set of Giant years later, Stevens publicly humiliated Elizabeth in front of the entire cast and crew. "He made it clear that I would never become an actress because I was too focused on being pretty," she recalled. "He constantly reminded me that I was a movie star, not an actress."
Despite the challenges, some positive outcomes emerged from Giant. Elizabeth formed a close friendship with Rock Hudson and developed a warm, albeit unpredictable, relationship with James Dean. "He would confide in me about the grief and unhappiness in his life, some of his loves and tragedies," Elizabeth said. "The next day on set, I’d say, 'Hi, Jimmy!' and it was almost as if he didn’t want to acknowledge that he had revealed so much of himself the night before. It would take maybe a day or two for him to become my friend again."
The sudden death of James Dean deeply affected Elizabeth. "It seemed impossible," she said. "I had just been with him that day driving around the studio in his Porsche. He was so alive, so full of energy, I couldn’t believe he was gone." This loss prompted a period of self-reflection, but less than two years later, Elizabeth faced another devastating blow when her third husband, Michael Todd, died in a plane crash. "I think her marriage to Mike Todd was the happiest time of her life," says Burstein. "He was the love of her life."
Elizabeth's first husband had been abusive, her second too coddling, but Mike had built her confidence. "I always had a feeling of inadequacy as a student and a person," she said. "I learned to enjoy life much more and not to be ashamed because you don’t know about something. Not [to] be ashamed of being curious — that curiosity was a marvelous thing."
His death was a shock she wasn’t prepared for. "I was so unprepared for the death of the person I had put all my trust in. It was more than I could handle," confessed the star, who admitted she "didn’t ever want to work again."
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Elizabeth's marriage to Eddie Fisher, a mere 14 months after Mike's death, turned out to be a mistake. "I knew before we got married, but I didn’t know how to get out of it," she said. This marriage plunged her into a deep depression, leading her to attempt suicide with sleeping pills. "I did it deliberately, calmly, and in front of Eddie," Elizabeth confessed. "I was fed up with living." Fortunately, a doctor arrived in time to save her life. "Thank God," Elizabeth said. "I’m so deeply ashamed of it."
The marriage unraveled after she fell in love with Richard Burton on the set of Cleopatra in 1961, making Eddie dangerously jealous. "He had a gun," Elizabeth recalled. "Every time I would start to close my eyes and nod out, he would stroke my arm and say, 'I’m not going to kill you, I wouldn’t shoot you, you’re much too pretty,' all night long. I ran from the house. I was so scared."
Leaving Eddie for Richard caused a scandal and strained her relationships with loved ones. "My father called me a whore," said the star, who admitted that she and Richard both carried guilt "for having inflicted such awful pain" on others. Yet, Elizabeth insisted, "I am not illicit, and I am not immoral."
Elizabeth Taylor's Sobriety Marks a New Beginning
